Simia Artifex

o hai, part xvii

2011-01-06T18:07:00.001-08:00

you can now find me here:
http://mcmonkee.posterous.com

Inspiration is where you find it.

2009-08-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

And I found it here and after some further digging, here.

See? Aren't you inspired as well? Hooray for minimalism!

money for information

2009-08-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

I think that one of the great things about the proliferation of Cyberculture (for lack of a better word) is that the harder Corporations (aka The Man) push for pay-to-play, the more likely it is for Users (aka The People) to find the same or better content elsewhere. As for instance, the more Print News wines about the death of journalism, the more prevalent online sources of news becomes. They may not have Journalist Credentials, but many of the people who provide Newstainment do not have Journalist credentials either. More so, online sources of news often provide direct links to pertinent information contained therein, something you will rarely if every find in Established Media.

further to the point

2009-06-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

not much longer now and i will be taking much needed professional classes at BAVC. bigger faster stronger. crush kill destroy. and such. got plans for at least a mini doc. and maybe some more creative endeavors. and who knows, maybe employment. baby needs a new Mac Pro.

moving along

2009-05-11T09:17:00.001-07:00

golly gee, that last post was awfully negative. let's try and turn that frown upside down. hmm... let see...

The Results of my Exhaustive* Research

2009-02-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

The last three weeks driving through Sebastopol has mysteriously lead me into this Google query: "Asshole in a...", filling in the blank with a specific automotive brand (not specific model). The results are more or less unsurprising, though i suspect if you were to substitute, say, Ford with F-150, or Cadillac with Escalade, or Porsche with 911, the returns might be higher. Also "asshole" may be i tad gender specific when it comes to poor drivers, however it fits the bill. And lo, I present to you the non-scientific results:

No results found for "asshole in a Citroen".
No results found for "asshole in a Daewoo".
No results found for "asshole in a Lamborghini".
No results found for "asshole in a Lancia".
No results found for "asshole in a Peugeot".
No results found for "asshole in a Plymouth".
No results found for "asshole in a Renault".
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in an Alfa Romeo". (0.42 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in a Fiat". (0.39 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in a Lotus". (0.29 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of about 0 for "asshole in a Mercury". (0.44 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in a Mitsubishi". (0.30 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in an Opel". (0.33 seconds)
Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "asshole in a Rolls". (0.35 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Datsun". (0.19 second)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Mazda". (0.36 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Mini Cooper". (0.33 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Saab". (0.40 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Subaru". (0.30 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Volkswagen". (0.33 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in an Infiniti". (0.47 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in an Isuzu". (0.38 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in an Oldsmobile". (0.32 seconds)
Results 1 - 3 of 3 for "asshole in a Nissan". (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 4 of 4 for "asshole in a Bentley". (0.34 seconds)
Results 1 - 4 of 4 for "asshole in a Hyundai". (0.41 seconds)
Results 1 - 4 of 4 for "asshole in a Saturn". (0.28 seconds)
Results 1 - 5 of 5 for "asshole in a GMC". (0.44 seconds)
Results 1 - 5 of 5 for "asshole in a Lincoln". (0.39 seconds)
Results 1 - 6 of 6 for "asshole in a Buick". (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 6 of 6 for "asshole in a Chrysler". (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 6 of 6 for "asshole in a Ferrari". (0.34 seconds)
Results 1 - 6 of 6 for "asshole in a Jaguar". (0.39 seconds)
Results 1 - 7 of 7 for "asshole in a Chevy". (0.39 seconds)
Results 1 - 7 of 7 for "asshole in a Ford". (0.57 seconds)
Results 1 - 7 of 7 for "asshole in a Maserati". (0.40 seconds)
Results 1 - 8 of 8 for "asshole in a Kia". (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 8 of 8 for "asshole in a Pontiac". (0.52 seconds)
Results 1 - 8 of 8 for "asshole in a Volvo". (0.37 seconds)
Results 1 - 9 of 9 for "asshole in a Toyota". (0.43 seconds)
Results 1 - 2 of 2 for "asshole in a Land Rover". (0.30 seconds) + Results 1 - 8 of 8 for "asshole in a Range Rover". (0.27 seconds) = 10
Results 1 - 10 of about 53 for "asshole in an Acura". (0.53 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 92 for "asshole in an Audi". (0.29 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 102 for "asshole in a Cadillac". (0.30 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 133 for "asshole in a Honda". (0.41 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 157 for "asshole in a Dodge". (0.34 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 180 for "asshole in a Mercedes". (0.24 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 263 for "asshole in a Porsche". (0.34 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 348 for "asshole in a Lexus". (0.31 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 434 for "asshole in a Jeep". (0.21 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 605 for "asshole in a Hummer". (0.36 seconds)
Results 1 - 10 of about 909 for "asshole in a BMW". (0.37 seconds)

And in case you are wondering, I drive a 1998 Toyota RAV4.

* exhaustive meaning not enough coffee has been consumed this morning.

Who Needs to Hang Around?

2009-01-31T16:52:00.000-08:00

A Period Piece in One Act
(with formatting apologies in advance)

INT. ANYBURB KITCHEN - DAY

JENNY sits behind a small island counter, rolling dice and writing things down, glancing at the printed gaming screen in front of her. JIMMY sits to her left, a few sheets of paper lay in front of him. He looks incredulously at his sister JENNY. DOUG stands to JENNY's right, and doodles on a piece of paper. "Exit... Stage Left" by Rush can be heard in the background.

JIMMY
(appalled)

Jeez sis, I can't believe you're still letting Kyle be in our adventuring party! Just cuz you wanna date him doesn't mean you have to ruin our fun.

JENNY

Jimmy! I do not want to date him! Now that football season is over he doesn't have anything better to do. Plus it helps him with the math I'm tutoring him for.

JIMMY

P'ya right. Why would any guy wanna date you anyway?

DOUG

Dude, your sister is hot!

JENNY/JIMMY
(in unison)

Doug!

JIMMY

That last guy you tutored and stuck in our game only ever stared at your boobs.

JENNY

And that is why Bobby was defenseless when the unicorn gored him to death.

DOUG

That was awesome. Anyway Jimmy, we are a little unbalanced... a halfling illusionist and an elf monk? We totally need a human meatshield.

JENNY

Kyle is not a meatshield, he is a strong and valiant Paladin in the service of Pelor.

JIMMY

Whatever! He totally made me botch my spell last week! We could have escaped!

JENNY

He did not botch your spell... you rolled crappy.

JIMMY

He was blocking my line of sight! My Stinking Cloud would have totally worked!

DOUG

That reminds me, I brought extra Slim Jim's if any one wants some. Oh and your mom said that since Kyle is here, she's making her special nachos.

JIMMY

Her nachos are not special, and why would she care if Kyle was here?

DOUG

Dude, your mom is hot!

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

KYLE non-chalantly leans up against a wall outside the kitchen, with a gaming manual in his hand.

KYLE

That's right Mrs. Jorgensen, I do run a 4.4 40.
And I can bench press 255.

o hai

2009-01-23T09:00:00.000-08:00

you may remember me from such careers as Apprentice Finish Carpenter and South Route Artisan Bread Deliverer/Client Relations Rep and Home Decor Shop Assistant and UPS Package Sorter and E-Commerce Customer Service Manager and Film/Video Editor and Artist's Assistant and of course who could forget Gallery Lackey. and now I arrive at yet another crossroads: Freelance Art/Design Something-or-Other or um, Pavement Quality Engineering Technician?

could this be then end?!

2008-12-14T09:18:00.000-08:00

well for the year at least.

so we are making a super awesome cubano sandwich for our last dnd episode of the year. awesome how? like try adding bacon awesome. pork loin + ham + bacon = trifecta! no doubt that will help me with some infernally awesome rolling for Exaybachay. it's possible we might try remote gaming next sunday depending on availability, fatigue level, etc.

um, what else. have to work on getting heidi's etsy shop back up and running. hairpins and gnomes and such.

oh and so as not to give you the impression that as a 13 year old i only had awesome taste in music, i was also really into this song (and video):

and it was this version, not the fancy 'cool' video they did after they got famous. not that i care or anything. :)

proceeding as if there were no lapse

2008-12-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

hey look! i'm ticking off the first item on my punchlist for the day: 'blog'. that was easy.

what is next? 'flickr'. ok... not as easy as one would think. that means editing and uploading two months of images. but then again not that difficult. it just takes a little time and a little effort.

then we have 'etsy'. that entails documenting some of the recent critters by the missus, getting them up on her etsy store. also not that difficult, just time and energy.

this is followed by 'cards'. this one is entirely dependent on the fickle printer. what could this possible entail, you ask? hah! printing power cards for heidi's lvl 7 wizard Lumiere. or wait... are we lvl 8. i can't remember.

and finally, we have 'dickerdoodles'. fortunately heidi is taking care of the baking aspect of this, and then it's up to me to photograph them and submit them for the contest. bwah hahaaaah! we shall be victorious i tell you!

and now i shall leave you kind readers with a couple of choice videos. this first one is a song that always makes me happy to hear it:

and finally, an addendum to my 'early crush' blog entry... ladies and gentlemen, i give you Canada's finest:

oh right

2008-12-04T19:59:00.000-08:00

i have a blog. i keep forgetting

omg omg omg

2008-10-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

can not wait!!!

Textual Fun

2008-09-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

just passing time, in an ominous manner:

will shaves beard, hilarity ensues

2008-02-12T20:08:00.000-08:00

yes. once again i grew a beard for heidi's birthday. this time, rather than shave it all off, i decided, 'what the hell...' and did a google for vintage beard styles, et voila... the 'franz-josef'. slightly more groomed than the 'friendly mutton chop'. i initially thought this would be a grave error, but you know what? i kinda like it. looks like i should be tending bar in a late 19th century saloon or something. for those of you who were unable to view The Beard in it's entirety, observe:

exciting, isn't it.

and now for a master-stroke of digression. for whatever reason, i've been feeling slightly nostalgic, which i am not generally wont to do and am of the belief that nostalgia is a disease (look toward the future!). nostalgic for what? adolescent crushes. cast your mind back to when you were, oh say... fourteen. you know, back in the early 80s. ok, it wasn't really all that awesome. but i present to you my top 3 adolescent crushes (with a bonus selection):

chrissie

annabella

clare!

and this one you'll have to visit yourself.

bwahahaaaa. ok, i'm done being nostalgic.

those of you who enjoy our pictures will be pleased to know that 2 whole new sets have been uploaded with at least 2 more on the way. enjoy!

fun in the sun

feasts and such

turkey trot

2007-11-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

howdy howdy folks. greetings from Durham. heidi and i are visiting evette and brooke in their new digs out here. looking forward to a fantabulous turkey day feast, to be complemented by what will hopefully be an excellent pinot noir from emeritus.

before i left, i finished sorting through all the awesome records generously donated to me by scott and meredith. the final outcome: 75 albums to be added, 15 records to be redistributed. what do i mean by redistributed? it means i've already got copies of those albums, so i can give them to other deserving collections. although... now that i think about it, they might be good for my feeble djing! haha! there we go.

that's all for now from the cigarette state. stay tuned for more.

just had to share this

2007-11-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

all the good things about this postpostmodern world: appropriation, irony, self-promotion, etc. enjoy!

2007-11-09T22:07:00.001-08:00

ok, now that the missus is upstaging me with her blogging blizzard, i'm going to have to make a better show of it.

on the art front, i am slogging my way through the B section of the ol record collection, coming up on the Beatles known as the White Album, which someone at Open Studios suggested saving that for the very last. but of course that will be impossible as my collection is ever growing. which reminds me that i am picking up a lovely addition to my collection this weekend, courtesy of scott & meredith. i am quite excited about the prospect. this leads also to a commission of sorts as i will be drawing a record of their choosing in exchange for some meredith art. hooray for trading art!

also, hooray for the union of art and music. all right all right, i know, music is art, so let's the union of visual art with music. as previously mentioned, i am forging ahead with my 'recording collection' project, i got to spin a short but fun set at noah's party last weekend (thanks to the dj from panama, see above); i'm currently playing my way through my 45 collection with an eye towards a future dj set (should the opportunty arise... i'm thinking of self-appellating: 7-inch Monkey); and i finally laid down a track i am happy with on the ol' 4-track to exchange with logan. panama here we come!

hi! remember me?

2007-10-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

that's right! i was gonna blog all day and all night about my art. so far so good. one entry... in how many months? well anyways i'm back, after being bolstered by a positive tho not financially lucrative Open Studios. some people actually got what i was going for! and on multiple levels no less. can you beat that? plus it helps to be surrounded by terrific artists, but just you wait till next year... then you'll see! hah! so where was... number 27 of 670? hmmmhmmmhmmmmm.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...

2007-04-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

so let's see... i have a music blog already, which i make entries in sporadically, and several dead blogs. and now it's time... And Now It's Time... to kick out the... oh wait, i mean make an art related blog. thus we have the creation of this blogger blog. hooray. art related entries to follow.